Friends?

So all my life i have been in the same area in England meaning that i haven’t moved schools. This comes with having the same friends for years.
However just because i have known them for a long time doesnt mean  that they know me the best
you see lately there has been a fight between
my friends, including a friend who i have know for around 10 years. They started to call each other names which im not going to repeat and they started to disrespect each other. if this wasn’t bad enough the next day she stated to spread around secrets that they told each other. This is what i found wrong, i get it she made you angry but this is no way to deal with it. she told you those secrets with her will, thinking that she could trust you and you go and spread it like its an everyday thing! nothing about what you did is right because that girl has been depressed, she has self harmed and now everyone thinks shes a freak. Shes self harming again because of the things you said. is this what you wanted? is this your revenge? i hope not!
what im trying to say is that the friend you knew the most could change and become someone you thought you knew and the girl you didnt think much of is could turn into your sister.
If you have every been in a huge argument, please do not spread their secrets. it will not help, instead it will just make it worse. please just respect other people and their feelings.
If you want to talk to someone about any problems your having please feel free to talk to me, im always here.
Remember you are beautiful!
Lmr going into the real world xoxo
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Crushes

Hey guys,

So school has started again … great but do you know what the worst part of it all is? i have to see my crush again. For the sake of this blog i will call him Blue eyes. He gets on my bus every morning and night 5 days a week for 25 minutes each way, yes i know that it isnt a long time but for me it feels like a century. You see before summer Blue eyes and I talked, almost every night either through text or on the bus. I had previously admitted that i liked him through someone telling him that i do, i told once he asked if it was true and ever since then he had talked to me. He started to call be pretty which i though was cute but it was him just being nice, then it came to beautiful and gorgeous. This warmed my heart greatly. And then the best of the best happened, he said he loved me and i beleved it, i thought it was true and i said it back.

However one day everything stopped, he stopped sitting next to me on the bus, then he stopped texting me, then he stopped talking to me. This broke my heart, it was like with a click of a button he didnt like me anymore. But i think the worst of all of it was 2 weeks before school. After i got off the bus he went and sat next to my friend, he told her all about how he didnt like me in that way. She told me this the next day and i literally wanted to break down and cry… i did, there i was, in a corner sobbing my eyes out infront of a few friends all because of a boy.

But thats not the end of it, no. it was the last week on school on a wednesday, all my friends were either in spain with school or on a school trip somewhere boring. i had to go around school with a certain group and you can already guess who was in that group … yep blue eyes. At first he didnt talk to me but then he talked and talked. He then did this strange thing and invite me into town at lunch with a couple of friends. I said yes (although i shouldnt of) and went with him. We were walking down an passage way in 2’s and he came up behing me and tickled me, then it turned into a hug. for the rest of the day he was with me never leaving my side.

But after summer, that same spark as before happened to him and once again he has stopped having any contact with me. Its killing me because he is all i think about and i always get bad anxiety when im around him. I just want help ;(

anyways i love you all and feel free to leave a comment down below 🙂

Lmr going into the real world xx

Hi :)

So im here writing my first blog

do you know a champain bottle? when you open it, it pops yeah well i need to pop other wise and going to explode. There is so much running through me that i need to get it out. however as the person i am im scared about saying all my problems to the real world, im just not that type of girl. so that is why im writing, it may also help all of you because you may be going through what i have been going through and i can help you with how i resolved my dilemmas. I want you all to know that your not alone. I have mad this blog anonymous because i want to me totally me. im worried that if i say who i am to all of you then i would be worried about being judged and its hard enough as it is in the “real world”.

Cheesecake (not his real name) my best friend doesnt even know that im writing this blog. i love him to bits but he doesnt get how i feel with anxiety because he doesnt have it. i wish i was him in so many ways but that is for another day

I completly get why girls are always sad and have anxiety:

  1. we always think that we have to wear make up to look pretty
  2. you are expected to act perfect all the time.
  3. we always spot the flaws in our selfs and try to hide them
  4. Hormones … not much to say on that one
  5. you have to wear exactly the right things
  6. your selfies should be “on point”
  7. You have to have loads of likes on your status or photo
  8. your supposed to fuss about boys when your dealing with yourself
  9. your expected to put on a brave face
  10. and when you do cry you just get judged and people say she just want attention.

Its not easy being a teenager so this is why im here for you

Remember your beautiful and thanks for reading

Lmr going into the real world xox