You didn’t do anything wrong…

I can almost confirm that most of you have met a person in your life unexpectedly. they made you fall for them unexpectedly, they made you happy unexpectedly, but they left unexpectedly. But the reason they left was because there was someone else.

And you’re left wondering why. you go through different stages, sadness, the initial realisation that things will never be the same. Anger, normally towards the said person who caused the tears but sometimes anger to yourself which leads to the next stage, regret, you regret defending the person you loved when everyone said they were going to cause you pain, you regret not listening to them and you regret thinking they were different.

But something everyone needs to know is that you didn’t do anything wrong, they cheated because it’s in their nature and I can put money on the fact that the next relationship they have, they will do the same. Don,t put yourself down for something that you cannot control, keep your head up and move on with the world because one day you will meet a new person which will make your world light up like it’s never been before.

i hope this allows one person to realise that someones actions don’t define who you are, you are you and don’t let anybody change that.

Exams

It’s that time of year again were students start to stress over getting enough revisions done for their exams in the following few weeks. The thought that runs few every young persons mind is why do we have to take these tests? and to be honest I agree with them too.

However this isn’t really another way in which the students logical understandings can bee shown so I guess exams have to stay. But from a personal point of view the exam boards and teachers are putting way too much stress on the students. Many people I know are having breakdowns because they feel that what they are doing isn’t enough and with teachers constantly yelling at them too try harder, I think they forget that they are only young and this may be the first ever time where they have a had a large amount of responsibility for their future. At the end of the day, these exams are what set the future for these young people, if they get good levels then they are more likely to get into a good university and fulfill their dreams but if they get a bad level, which now can be done by dropping only one mark, then they feel like they have failed completely and that they should give up on their dreams.

In England where I am, the exam boards have unfairly raised the difficulty of the exams, they are making the students learn topics that they shouldnt have to learn for another few years, and the fact that they only got around a year to revise for this new scheme is extremely difficult.

However I wish you all luck to the ones who are going through these tests and remember that you should only worry about whats going to happen tomorrow not in a few years time, otherwise you will just get upset and it will affect your leaning, more than you are realising.

Im thinking about making my next post on ways of revising that I find effective but if you have any ideas yourself, then dont be scared to comment them.

remember you’re beautiful

Lmr going into the real world xox

Anxiety

im not sure how many of you actually suffer from anxiety but what i do know is that its more common then you think.

there is a number of times in a persons life when they will feel anxiety rush through them, however some people have to cope with this on day to day basis. Its one of the mental illnesses where the person that is dealing with it may seem ok but inside they are fighting a battle with themselves and at many occasions they feel like they are loosing.

Anxiety is an awful thing to have. whether you have it occasionally or regularly is can easily ruin your life like it has for me.

When i was younger everyone thought that i was a shy girl who didn’t like to socialise with people. in many cases that is correct however there is more to the actions that i did. I didn’t just feel shy, i felt that everyone eyes were on my body, judging my every move. i thought that if i mess up, everyone would think i was a looser or an idiot. If anyone laughed around me i always think that its about me and i start to feel small.

Due to my anxiety it made me extremely self-conscious. i would constantly worry about the clothes that i was wearing and hug my body to try and hide the fat that i thought i had. Many people would ask me why i always had my arms around my body, they asked questions like “are you cold or something?” or ” is your stomach hurting?” and with every sentence they said it always loomed over me.

If someone said something to me that i didn’t completely understand i would torture myself by thinking about it for days, i always saw the subtext behind it even though sometimes thats not what they actually meant.

Anxiety is also a reason why i hate school, when a teacher randomly picks on me, i have an instant flush, my whole body heats up and my face turns red. i start to sweat and most times i stutter. It annoys the hell out of me as i normally know the correct answer to the question asked however the words just dont come out of my mouth.  Also in the cafeteria, i would always check if i have the right amount of money about 1000 times, i panic just in case i dont and at many times i actually give my friends my money so they can buy me something, not because i’m lazy but because i dont want to be in that situation.

Honestly anxiety is awful, however its a apart of me and I’ve learned how to cope with it in my own ways. If any of you need advise please dont hesitate to contact me as i will always listen no matter what the circumstance is.

Remember your Beautiful

Lmr going into the real world xoxo

 

Friends?

So all my life i have been in the same area in England meaning that i haven’t moved schools. This comes with having the same friends for years.

However just because i have known them for a long time doesnt mean  that they know me the best

you see lately there has been a fight between
my friends, including a friend who i have know for around 10 years. They started to call each other names which im not going to repeat and they started to disrespect each other. if this wasn’t bad enough the next day she stated to spread around secrets that they told each other. This is what i found wrong, i get it she made you angry but this is no way to deal with it. she told you those secrets with her will, thinking that she could trust you and you go and spread it like its an everyday thing! nothing about what you did is right because that girl has been depressed, she has self harmed and now everyone thinks shes a freak. Shes self harming again because of the things you said. is this what you wanted? is this your revenge? i hope not!

what im trying to say is that the friend you knew the most could change and become someone you thought you knew and the girl you didnt think much of is could turn into your sister.

If you have every been in a huge argument, please do not spread their secrets. it will not help, instead it will just make it worse. please just respect other people and their feelings.

If you want to talk to someone about any problems your having please feel free to talk to me, im always here.

Remember you are beautiful!

Lmr going into the real world xoxo

I need help!!

so you guy know that i was previously talking about blue eyes well i have decided that i need to move on, it will be better for me. 

I have started to know that he doesn’t care about how i feel and if im sad he only cares about my looks. He isnt worth it and i wish i had learnt that before. 

However there is this new guy who has started talking to me but then we started to learn more about each other and show our true selfs. On friday i started to get upset and i may of cried a little but he was right there hugging me telling me everything. Since that point he has continued to hug me and make sure that im okay. . 

I dont know what to do because i dont know if i like him or not. Its so frustrating but when i am in his arms i do feel safe … and he smells really nice XD .

if you have any advise for me please let me know 

remember you are beautiful 

Lmr going into the real world xoxo

Fears

I know everyone has there own fear. something they wish never existed but i have a few, a few that have changed my life completely,

see im terrified of spiders but im pretty sure i got that from my mum. i cant even be in the same room as one! who else hates the 8 legged freaks ( sorry if you have one)

However there is a fear that not many people know, something that i have kept to myself for a long time. im scared of death. i know that in the future my time will come and i will be prepared for that but its not the fact that i know that im gonna die which scares me, its the fact of when other people die. I always seem to get close to so many people and i hate it when i go a long time period without seing them so i cant imagine what i would be like if my mum died. I had a horse called fliss. She would bring joy every time i saw her and i fell in love with her, she was apart of my family. but sadly in november 2013 she had to get put to sleep due to an injury. to this day i still havent got over her.

I respect so many people who have had a tragic loss and yet they  carry on battling through with a smile on their face. those people are my role models even if their not a celebrity.

If you guys and galls have any fears and experiences you want to share feel free to comment

remember your beautiful and thanks for reading

lmr going into the real world xoxo

ps. im writting with a cat on my lap, do you know how hard that is! so sorry for any mistakes this little kitty has caused